Make up your own title. I'll bet it's hilarious. Maybe it has lasers!

…saaaaay! I remember this place!

But anyways. For the past week I, and a group of friends (namely Lawrence, KT, Forest, Sergio, and JellyBean-Marie (codenamed for my enjoyment and because JellyBean-Marie refuses to answer to the name of JellyBean-Marie in real life) have been working like rented pack mules to finish our long-term Odyssey of the Mind problem. This has included building a dummy (Dylan), me learning how to sew, paint fumes from 4pm to 6pm weekday, snippy and snippy between me and KT, more paint fumes, PBC piping, enough duct-tape to build a bridge from Alaska to Russia, me and Sergio learning how to use a power-saw, me and Sergio learning that power-saws are really, really, loud, Forest being a wimp, scenery falling down on all of us, JellyBean-Marie dying her hair orange, prop-building in general, and not eating or sleeping since last Sunday. So yeah, it’s been a fun week. And by fun, I mean horribly nerve wracking and fraught with snippy and snippy, fumigation (though at least half of us had some form of a cold and couldn’t smell a thing), me finding new random cuts on my elbow/ankle/thumb/hands/ect every morning, despair, anger, hope, laughs, hate, awkwardness and relief.

So yeah, I guess fun was the right word to use.

What all the other OM teams managed to do in the space of 4 months, we all did in a week. Well, we had 4 months too, but 3 ½ of those months were spent ‘brain storming’ and working on spontaneous. Go us. I think.

Speaking of the spontaneous problem, it didn’t go as well as it did last year. Last year, the judges loved us, gave us full marks, and wanted to adopt us and feed us soup. This year not so much, but thanks to KT (and probably Forest and Sergio. Forest more so than Sergio though) we didn’t do horrible either. Oh well.

As for how the actual long term problem’s performance went…well, maybe I should start from the beginning.

What’s that you say?

No? It’s fine? You really don’t want to hear?

Too bad :3. Last year, we did our script informally. We just all knew what we were supposed to do. That and it was mostly visual humor, but whatever. While there, we saw some performances by some teams that obviously had scripted their lines. You could tell from the monotone way that they said everything. So this year, we were opposed to actual scripts that told you what to say, but we had to find some way to get everyone to know what to say within the space of three days.

We never actually found out how to do it, but we still managed to scrape up third place, and get the OMer award (for going above and beyond) at that.
After that was all over, but before the award ceremony, the rest o’the gang and I went out to play…soccer? No…well, we went outside to play with a soccer ball, and Lawrence’s amazingly talented younger brother, Mini-Mex (it should be noted that people actually call him that). There we met the boy’s fan-club (surprising in that it’s usually only Sergio who has a fan-club, though, in her defense, she mainly seemed interested in him) again, who called them her ‘gangster-buddies’. Not making that up.

When asked why, she said it was because when she first met them they were doing ‘gangster things’. (in actuality, they were fooling around on a playground. Swings and slides, though fun, aren’t very gangster in my opinion, but hey, what do I know? Well, I know that the spotted hyena can carry strands of rabies in it’s DNA but does not develop symptoms. I also know some far creepier information about the spotted hyena that I’m not going to share with you). When asked what gangster things were, she replied with an insane giggle, and managed to get out ‘everything?’. I wonder about that child.

I also half wished Sergio had actually said his initial response to her when they first met, which was something along the lines of, ‘Yeah, I’m a gangster, and he’s my b****.’ I’m really curious on how she would have reacted to that.

Once the awards ceremony was over, everyone hopped in Mrs. Forest’s Mom’s car to drive to our combination church/school, were we all went to elementary and middle school for the single greatest event ever to be held once every two years.

Quo Vadis. *insert heavenly choir, violin music, a fangirly squeal, Unbelievable by EMF, a thrash metal version of ‘Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree’, or whatever else strikes you as properly amazing*
Oh yes. I can’t remember where the name comes from or what it means….wait a minute. I can just play ‘2 minutes on google’! Be right back. Okay, it means ‘Where you are going?’. It’s what made Peter turn around and go back to Rome to get himself martyred. IT’S AWESOME! What it basically is, is one big LARP (live action role play) at the church, set in the time when the Christians were being persecuted by the Romans! You get randomly chosen to be a member of the senate, senators, senator’s wives, Nero, some of the original Apostles (actually, with them and Nero, it’s usually an adult/teacher. Still awesome), concubines, a spy , a roman soldier or just a roman. As any of these except Nero, you have the choice to convert to Christianity, which means that during ‘night’ (there are four days, three nights in all) you go out into the school which has had all of the lights turned off, find a room and hide somewhere where you don’t think you’ll be found, and wait there in total silence, hearing the roman’s outside. It may not sound too nerve wracking, but with all the candy/cookies/pop/pizza that you stuffed yourself with (ie-sugar high), the good time you’re having, and the fact that you actually can be caught and ‘tortured’, the only way you’re not going to get jittery is if you haven’t’ put yourself into the game at all.
If you are caught by one of the Roman Soldiers who are let out into the dark school shortly after the Christians, then you’re taken back to the main auditorium (where the day phase takes place) and put in the holding pen until the soldiers bring you before Nero, and you can plead your case and possibly be let off (hasn’t happened to my knowledge), renounce you’re faith and depending on how convincing you are be let free, or be sentenced to death (crucifixion). That last one is what happens most of the time.
For ‘crucifixion’ you’re taken to another corner of the gym where people (usually your friends) chant ‘crucify him/her! Crucify him/her!’ and you hold a 2x4, and get ‘tortured’ by the soldiers, who have red, black, green, and blue face painting sticks. If you’re skin isn’t covered by something, it’s fair game.
You laugh, but it can actually get pretty brutal.
So instead, just titter.
Then, you’re taken to heaven, which is like the day part of Quo Vadis, but with better food, Apples to Apples and other bored games, TV, a white bored, and unlimited ice cream and toppings.
This year, I was a concubine; KT, JellyBean-Marie, and Andi (non-OM friend) were roman soldiers. Sergio and Lawrence were Romans (later converted) with mad-escape skill. Actually, only Sergio had mad escape-skills. Lawrence was just a cheater. I converted just before the first night, and ran out to hide, nearly getting torn limb from limb in the crush of those escaping from the auditorium.
The first night I was fine, but the second night the soldiers found me hiding under the bean bag chairs what happened was this:
Soldier with a vaguely familiar voice:Whats your name?
Me: …uh…Sparkles McCheesey
Soldier: No really
Me: (says name).
Soldier: Oh! You’re Lokii! Okay, never mind! Just go back to hiding. You’re cool.
Another Soldier: Wait, no! Who’s Lokii? We’re taking him (I’ve got a boy’s name) in, sorry.
(insert sounds of trying to burrow into beanbag chair, while at the same time throwing them before being caught)
Me: Crap
Other Soldier: that’s what they all say
So then I got taken to the holding pen where I related my story to KT, Andi, and JellyBean-Marie, before being escorted to see Nero. Unfortunately, my trial time was cut short, because as soon as I got there, Nero was saying ‘Get them all out of my sight! Take them to be crucified!’, but I was the first one to be crucified. After that I went to Heaven, ate ice cream with copious amount of wafer cookies, sprinkles and caramel, got ice cream stains on Andi’s shower curtain (I was wearing it as a toga), played Apples to Apples with some people I didn’t know, and later all the dead got released for the last fifteen minutes, to watch the big trade off.
Every year, there’s some sort of plot twist, because the people who the soldiers really want to find are the Apostles. This year, not only did Peter and Paul employ sneaky evasion techniques, but decided that they would trade themselves for the release of everyone who was in the jail at that time. Right as they were being taken away they both squirted the senate, but mainly Nero, with the holy water they had been using to ‘baptize’ the people who wanted to be part of the church.
I know I sound like a huge nerd right now, and generally if you’re not a nerd that’s a bad thing, but trust me, Quo Vadis is the best thing ever.
So Andi and KT, who had been told to beat Peter with his staff, gave it to me instead because they had apparently converted the night I was dead. So, all in all, you know it was a good day if by the end of the night you’re walking around in someone else’s shower curtain, paint all over you’re face, being the martyred ghost of a concubine, and you’ve got St. Peter’s Staff. Oh and ice cream. I had that too. X3